Emotional Hoarding

I am a reality TV junkie! One of my favorite shows is "Intervention" on the A&E channel. This season they added a show called "Hoarders" to their lineup. On the show they follow people who suffer from compulsive hoarding (or being a severe pack rat). The show usually finds them when the clutter and filth has become so bad that they're facing eviction, fines, or both. As a final effort to keep their home, and organizer and a team of workers is brought in to clean the place up and treat the person for their obsessive compulsive disorder.

After watching the show for the first time I said to myself "I think I'm a hoarder!". Not in the literal sense though. I'm an emotional hoarder. Holding on to past emotions and experiences from as far back as five years old.

I've carried these things with me throughout my life. I collected them like vintage postage stamps and rare coins. I defined myself by my experiences. Growing up watching my father wreck havoc on our family by being an alcoholic, seeing gang fights and shootings, being exposed to sex at a young age, and countless other negative memories are most precious to me. They completely drowned my happy times. Making me a miserable , bitter person who couldn't seem to navigate properly through life.

So now comes the clean up. After about five years I'm finally seeing the light through all the debris. Letting go is hard, but like pimping, it's necessary.