How I Grew To Love My Belly

I have talked about my self esteem struggle many times on this blog. Too many damn times. Lol. Falling in love with myself and my body has been an uphill battle but I am winning!
For the past few months I have been seeing the fruits of all my inner labor. The praying and believing inspired me to take the actions that changed my life. No more young, wild living. Taking care of myself is now a top priority.
The inside is good, now I'm focusing on the outside. First thing's first, I have to get my body and fashion together. I blogged about fashion for the first time in my last post. Expect more, too. :)
As far as my body goes I started working out using a high interval intensity workout called Turbo Fire. Ever heard of Insanity? Well, Turbo Fire is the same workout only put to music and catered to women. I love it! My body has started to change shape and I'm slimming down nicely after only a couple of months. I'm feeling myself so much that I posted the above pic on Instagram showing off my progress with the caption "Fat & fabulous is the mission..." Meaning, I don't wanna be skinny just in love with the skin I'm in.

I was even inspired to go strapless last week. Can't even remember the last time I did that! Not to mention that this denim one-piece is a size Large when I was buying 2X and 3X. What a freakin' difference!

So to all of you ladies that are fighting the battle of the bulge I encourage you to keep on pushing. It is possible to reach whatever goals you set. It's simple to do, but it's not easy so it will take some motivation and strength but you can do it.

If you have any tips on how I can become a slimmer, sexier me or want to share your weightloss journey hit up the comment section below.

Smooches,

Rashida :)

My Funeral: The Rise of an Empress

On December 3rd I decided to start a Self Love journey. I got this idea from a YouTube channel I came across by Montana Deleon. A former Worldstar "booty model" turned inspirational speaker.
I know what you're thinking but before you judge hear me out.
I am a true believer in metaphysical science. That means that I believe in the power of one's own spirit and mind to create the person you want to be. After watching her videos I see that Montana is doing the work that the metaphysical is all about and has made a beautiful change in her life. She started her own Self Love journey and documented it on her YouTube channel and it's really fascinating and inspirational.
In one of her videos she talked about starting the Self Love Journey by having a funeral for your old self and beginning the day anew. So this is my funeral. Hence, the head stone. It reads "Death of a Warrior. Rise of an Empress." Because I was always fighting my demons. I got so caught up with being a victim and holding on to hurt that I became identified by being broken. No more of that. I will build an empire as an author/entrepreneur. I'm rising from the ashes like a beautiful phoenix.
I will be keeping you guys up to date with  a series of Self Love journey posts and videos. Say a prayer for me...
Check out Montana's YouTube Channel Here.

It's Not Your Beauty, It's Your Booty...

Claudia Aderotimi died of complications ftom botched butt injections. 

Photo Credit

Bell Biv Devoe said "Never trust a big butt and a smile" for a reason. Men, black men especially, are hypnotized by their love of big butts. A female can look like a J.J. from Good Times ,but if she got a big butt he will fall in love. Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian, Buffie The Body, and countless other ladies owe their careers to their asses. 

The big butt has been a gold medal for women in the black community forever, but in today's world it's grown into an obsession. Thanks to advancements in plastic surgery and the ability to buy the supplies needed online, any chick around can have a Nicki Minaj ass for a few hundred dollars... and I want one.

They say that you either have titties or ass, never both. I have titties. I got a lot of attention for them but the girls with the big butts always had all of the boys crushing on them in school. They were the most popular girls so my big booty envy started early. Recently, I started working out so that I can get a flatter stomach and a fatter booty. I asked myself it that doesn't work, how far am I willing to go to get the butt I want so bad?

The girl above risked her life to get one. Claudia Aderotimi's dream was to become a famous dancer and video vixen. After being dropped from a promo job because of her small behind she decided that she would get injections. I'm not sure how the met up with this guy at a cheap hotel in Philadelphia to get the injections for 1000 Euros (about $1300). She complained of chest pains then died shortly after being admitted to a nearby hospital.
I can sacrifice money. I can sacrifice pain. One thing I will never sacrifice is my life for the cost of beauty. I believe she made a mistake by going to someone who wasn't a real doctor working in a real surgery center. Still I feel bad for her and can relate.
Do people make too much of a deal out of a big booty?











Source:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3403090/Brit-wannabe-hip-hop-star-Claudia-Aderotimi-died-after-her-illegal-op-went-tragically-wrong.html

Releasing Your Shame

We've all done things that we're not proud of. The skeletons that hang in your closet can keep you from attaining the success and happiness that you have always wanted in your life. Why? Because it effects the way you see yourself.  In order to be successful in all parts of your life you must have a positive, healthy self image.If you need an image boost a great place to start is by releasing your shame . Accept it, confront it, and release it.

Accept It
The first step to releasing your shame is to accept the fact that you're not perfect. We're human and we make mistakes, wrong choices, and we hurt other people's feelings. You don't have to be ashamed of being flawed. If you're a spiritual (not religious) person then you believe in a God and you know that he understands that we are sinners and we're not perfect. Whenever a thought of your past shame crosses your mind, tell yourself "God has forgiven me and I forgive myself." and just let it go. If you're not spiritual then just say some forgiveness affirmations like "I'm human so I've made mistakes. I'm past that now and I forgive myself."

Confront It
Usually when you do something you're not proud of you put the experience somewhere deep in the back of your mind and try not to think about it. Not good. You have to confront those feelings. You need to bring them to the surface and face them so that you can release them.  There are a few ways to confront your shame. You can journal or write about it, pray (Out loud. It's important to speak the words.), or you can talk to somebody you trust. Do whatever you're comfortable with doing. Just confront those skeletons!

Release It
After you've accepted and confronted your shame, finally, you can release it. Let it go. Try your best not to think about your shame. When you do just say one of the affirmations I mentioned above and replace the thought with something positive you've done. If your shame involves you hurting somebody else, then it's best to make amends with them. Sometimes trying to apologize and make amends does more harm than good if the person is not in a place where they can forgive you. So make sure that if you want to make amends with someone that they are ready to open those old wounds and forgive you so that they can heal for the both of you.

Once you've released your shame you will get an instant boost to your self esteem. You'll no longer think that you're a horrible person because of your mistakes and you'll have nothing to be ashamed of. Your self image will be improved then you can attract all of the things that your negative attitude has been blocking.

The Fundamental of a Black Woman's Attitude

Women are complex creatures. Especially Black women. We have a rich history and lifestyle that is like no other. Still we have such a hard time being accepted and understood. I hate when someone assumes I roll my neck and eat watermelon just because I'm black. I do those things, but it's because of who I am inside, not the color of my skin. This is who we are...
I asked my Twitter and Facebook friends what they felt the fundamentals or main characteristics of a black woman's attitude were. Surprisingly, NOT ONE woman responded. All of my responses were from men and they all pretty much said the same thing. Black women are mean and selfish.
As soon as I saw this my defenses went up. How dare you call me a stingy bitch! But I have to accept that this our stereotype. I have to admit that there is some truth to that. Black women tend to be more aggressive than other races. Let me explain why.
In African American culture single mothers are the norm. Marriage is not held in the highest regard since we feel that a piece of paper doesn't determine our love. Add in the fact that most black men don't want to be tied down to one woman and you have a woman who can't get a man to respect her and that's not being the father that he should be. So she has a chip on her shoulder. She doesn't feel she deserves the life she's living so of course she has an attitude. Not only that, she has to be strong for her family and her children since she is the only parent in the household.
Racism and sexism is still alive and well in the US. Our president is black and there are still people that want that nigger out of office. Hilary Clinton wasn't taken seriously as a presidential candidate by lots of people. She'd be too emotional to run a country. We walk around with our guard up because not only do we have to fight hate against us for our color but for our sex as well.
So do black women have attitudes, yes. Are we selfish, yes. Keep in mind that not all women are like this and when we are this way it's not because we want to be, but because we have to be.

Damn near died of thought poisoning!

It's been almost a week since I've posted. I've been feeling sick. Well, more than sick, I've been feeling downright shitty.  I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. All I knew was I was stuck in my bed in pain mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I've felt this way before. The overwhelming feeling of stress and hurt. I was suffering from thought poisoning. I had let my negative thoughts take over me. Again.
I just finished my first book and the closer I get to the release the more nervous I get. I have other problems, too. Let's just say that my work, relationship, and living situations aren't helping any.
When I get like this, thought demons get in attack mode. They tell me everything from I'm going to fall on my ass trying to self-publish a book to the wonderful man in your life will never love you. I was regressing fast.
Finally I got down on my knees and really prayed to God. I begged him to not give up on me. To remind me why I love and believe in myself. I asked for a renewal of my faith and a renewal of my mind.
Thank God he answered my prayers! I was given the anecdote for thought poisoning: Faith. Knowing that now matter what happens I am truly blessed and will always be. Knowing that I control my mind and I don't have to let negative thoughts poison me.
I'm back to my regular self now. Ready to continue all that I've started fearlessly. If you ever find yourself being poisoned by negative thoughts,cast them out immediately. Even if you have to say out loud "I won't let you poison me!". Choose happiness. Choose faith. Choose life.
I know I will.

THE BLOWDOWN! - 5 steps to help you effectively check a muthafu*%#@

We all have to check somebody at some point. Put a girl, or boy, in their place. In Cleveland, we call it "blowing down". I was super quiet and non-confrontational when I was younger so I had to learn the art of the blowdown. Whether you want to kill someone with kindness and put them in their place calmly or a hot head who wants to give someone a good cursing out, here are the 5 key elements for effectively checking someone:

1. The Right Place: There is a time and place for everything and blowing down is no different. The last thing you want to do is make a scene at your great aunt's funeral because your cousin owes you $20. I suggest taking the person to the side and handling them privately. Only do it publicly if witnesses are needed to verify facts, mediate, etc.
2. Timing: To continue the point made in #1 the perfect time is absolutely necessary when checking someone. You have to make sure that you handle the situation as soon as possible, but not too soon. Try not to blow down while you're angry because you will not get your point across properly. Effective communication is key because the end result is not an argument, it's mutual understanding.
3. Get Your Facts Straight: There is nothing worse than checking somebody only to realize that you went off on them based on lies and misunderstandings. You should never check someone based on hearsay unless it comes from a VERY trusted source. Always go by what came from the horse's mouth. You will only make yourself look stupid if you don't check your resources first. 
4. Tone Of Voice & Body Language: As the old saying goes: It's not what you say, it's how you say it. As I said before, the end result of blowing down is not an argument, it's mutual understanding. You want to say your peace and part ways when the confrontation is over with. So make sure that you speak calmly and try not to raise your voice. Don't point in the person's face or stand over them while your speaking. Try to have it so that the both of you are either sitting or standing looking eye to eye. This will keep you from looking overly aggressive.
5. Get a Dig In: It really wouldn't be blowing down if you didn't get a smart remark or two in. This is best for the naturally witty. If you're not, think back to the days of ranking (or playing the dozens). You'll find something clever to say. 

Thin my be in, but fat is where it's at!

     I love being a black woman!  One of the things I love most is the fact that I'm thick, curvy, and sexy!  Black men can appreciate a woman with some meat on her bones.  Not saying other races don't. But nice round breasts, full hips and thighs, and a big butt are some black men's "make it or break it" requirements when determining physical beauty.
     The confidence that I have now wasn't easy to come by. I had to learn love for self.  I had to discover that my beauty or sex appeal wasn't defined by my weight. Nor was it defined by another's opinion.
     I was always chubby growing up. For as long as I can remember, people have commented on my "thick, pretty" legs. It wasn't until 5th grade that I was called fat for the first time.  It was the boy likes girl, girl doesn't like boy, so boy has to hurt girl situation. After I broke up with my lil' boyfriend. he started calling me names.  Since he was also the class bully the entire class followed suit.  After being tormented about my weight the rest of the school year, I was convinced that I was fat and ugly.
     During my middle school years, I tried to cover up by wearing baggy boy clothes.  The "tom boy" look helped me hide my insecurities.  I tried to come out of my shell in high school, but the guys were cruel! I've had dudes say some horrible things about me.  I still don't know what I did  to deserve that treatment.
     I was introverted and quiet when my senior year of high school came around. Then one day I had an epiphany!  I don't know where this burst of strength came from, but I said to myself "To me, I'm beautiful. Period." All of a sudden it all became clear to me.  "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." is one of the most direct and truthful statements.  Not only through the eyes of others, but through your own.
     So to all my ladies out there that got a little bit more around the waist, or got crooked teeth, or if you're a model that has insecurities within.  Look in the mirror and open your eyes wide.  That woman looking back at you is the most beautiful woman walking the earth! Self love is the best love!