Life is short, so let it go!

Today (9.15.09), a loved one of mine is being laid to rest. At 23, she left behind two small kids, a huge family, and tons of friends. Her life was just starting and still it ended. It's crazy how God works sometimes. I'm still extremely sad.
April's passing is definitely one of those "life changing" situations. Something that is so deep that you can't help but pick the situation apart and figure out what you're supposed to learn from it. And once you learn, you'll never deter from that new way of thinking and living.
I've been struggling with letting go of past experiences and grudges I've been holding on to. Ignoring and neglecting people that hurt me or simply made me angry. I did away with those people not because I didn't love them anymore, but because I couldn't put my selfish pride away and let it go. Love is not an emotion, it's a choice. You don't HAVE to love somebody. Making the decision to choose love should be selfless and unconditional. Petty arguments and disagreements shouldn't change you decision. Mistakes and miscommunication shouldn't change it either. Pick you battles wisely because some things can't be forgotten, but all things can be forgiven. You'd hate to block your blessings because you're holding on to anger!
There's a quote in the book Twelve Pillars that says: "...The greatest gift the Grand Designer gives us is the gift of people. Yes, relationships can be hard, but they are also what the joy of life is made of." To me this means that the better your relationships are with those you love, the more joyful your life will be. So if there's someone you're estranged from that you still love but haven't buried the hatchet with them, do it as quickly as possible. You'll only be more blessed for it. Don't get it twisted, though! There are people that are bad for you and are better out of your life. Treat those people accordingly.
The last time I saw April we were a another sister/friend, Christie's house so that I could do their hair. I did April's hair, But before I go to do Christie's hair there was an altercation that got out of hand. We said things that were hurtful to each other and I stopped speaking to her. The next time I spoke to Christie was the day April passed. I apologized to her that night. I thought to myself, if Christie was the one to go instead of April I would have so much guilt in my heart! I still loved her dearly, I just held on to my anger for no good reason.
So my outlook on life has changed. I prayed for God to help me to release my past. And he did. I'm very grateful! I just wish he didn't have to take someone so dear to get his point across.
Being hurt by someone you love can cut you deep, but life is short, so let it go!