How I Grew To Love My Belly

I have talked about my self esteem struggle many times on this blog. Too many damn times. Lol. Falling in love with myself and my body has been an uphill battle but I am winning!
For the past few months I have been seeing the fruits of all my inner labor. The praying and believing inspired me to take the actions that changed my life. No more young, wild living. Taking care of myself is now a top priority.
The inside is good, now I'm focusing on the outside. First thing's first, I have to get my body and fashion together. I blogged about fashion for the first time in my last post. Expect more, too. :)
As far as my body goes I started working out using a high interval intensity workout called Turbo Fire. Ever heard of Insanity? Well, Turbo Fire is the same workout only put to music and catered to women. I love it! My body has started to change shape and I'm slimming down nicely after only a couple of months. I'm feeling myself so much that I posted the above pic on Instagram showing off my progress with the caption "Fat & fabulous is the mission..." Meaning, I don't wanna be skinny just in love with the skin I'm in.

I was even inspired to go strapless last week. Can't even remember the last time I did that! Not to mention that this denim one-piece is a size Large when I was buying 2X and 3X. What a freakin' difference!

So to all of you ladies that are fighting the battle of the bulge I encourage you to keep on pushing. It is possible to reach whatever goals you set. It's simple to do, but it's not easy so it will take some motivation and strength but you can do it.

If you have any tips on how I can become a slimmer, sexier me or want to share your weightloss journey hit up the comment section below.

Smooches,

Rashida :)

Woman Law: 1-5

Thanks to Baller Alert for the list.

Since them men have established 'Man Laws' I thought it would be a great idea to finally establish some laws for us women to live by. I'm going to try and keep this going as long as possible, but for now here are the 'Woman Laws' from 1 through 5.

1 - Thou shall not let thyself go - No matter how comfortable you get, no matter how depressed you get, nothing makes you feel better than looking your best. Just because you have a man doesn't mean that you should forget you have to keep him. You don't have to spend an arm and a leg to keep a fresh manicure and pedicure. Keeping yourself looking good will keep you feeling good. A woman who feels good is a happy woman.

2 - Thou shall not entertain thy haters - So what she's talking about you behind your back? She didn't say it to your face did she? That's right, because she is a coward. So don't entertain her. That's exactly what she wants you to do. She wants all of your attention, that's why she pushes your buttons. Don't even give her the satisfaction. Be the bigger, badder, more mature woman and leave her looking like a fool

3 - Thou will get money - I don't care what you do or how you do it but be resourceful and make your own money. The minute you begin to depend on anyone else to take care of you is the day that you've allowed someone to own you. A woman should never allow herself to be owned. Be the source of your own income. Whether it's working a regular 9-5 or the naked hustle, get your money!

4 - Thou Shall Play the Player - Men say you can't play a player, but what they don't realize is that a woman certainly can. As a woman we should keep our eyes open and be aware of all games being played on us and be ready to turn the table at any given moment. We as women have to reclaim our upper hand.

5 - Thou Shall Behold The Power Of The "P" - One thing we have always had and will always have is the power we hold between our legs. It's been said that as long as you have a vagina you should never be broke. We have the power to get a man to do anything we want. We have the power to make men spend any amount of money, be at our beckon call and apologize to us even when he hasn't done anything wrong. Good sex will make a man leave his mama and get his life right. Use your powers for good, not evil.

Read more: http://www.balleralert.com/profiles/blogs/if-the-fellas-can-have-man-law#ixzz2UjCediYb

My Funeral: The Rise of an Empress

On December 3rd I decided to start a Self Love journey. I got this idea from a YouTube channel I came across by Montana Deleon. A former Worldstar "booty model" turned inspirational speaker.
I know what you're thinking but before you judge hear me out.
I am a true believer in metaphysical science. That means that I believe in the power of one's own spirit and mind to create the person you want to be. After watching her videos I see that Montana is doing the work that the metaphysical is all about and has made a beautiful change in her life. She started her own Self Love journey and documented it on her YouTube channel and it's really fascinating and inspirational.
In one of her videos she talked about starting the Self Love Journey by having a funeral for your old self and beginning the day anew. So this is my funeral. Hence, the head stone. It reads "Death of a Warrior. Rise of an Empress." Because I was always fighting my demons. I got so caught up with being a victim and holding on to hurt that I became identified by being broken. No more of that. I will build an empire as an author/entrepreneur. I'm rising from the ashes like a beautiful phoenix.
I will be keeping you guys up to date with  a series of Self Love journey posts and videos. Say a prayer for me...
Check out Montana's YouTube Channel Here.

I'm naked. No More Sheets...

I am a single young lady and I love it!

On the other hand though, I do see marriage and family in my future. As my twenties come to an end, being single becomes more frustrating because my wants and needs are changing. As I go back and forth between wanting to be single and wanting to be married, I ask myself the question am I really ready for marriage right now? After watching this sermon by Juanita Bynum, I don't think so, but I know that I will be one day. This is a must see video for all my single ladies. You will look at relationships a little bit different afterwards. I promise!

If you wanna get rid of me, Love me right.

When I saw this tweet from Erykah Badu, I immediately retweeted it. She says it may be 'a bit advanced' but I caught the meaning of it right away. Nice guys finish last. The men that treat us the worst are the ones we have the hardest time letting go of.

Why do we put ourselves through the pain of being with a no good man?
There are countless answers to this question because each woman has her own reasons for staying with her man. It could be because of the kids or because he pays the bills. The main reasons, however, go much deeper than these surface answers.

• What you desire in your heart has nothing to do with what you're attracted to. Women want a man that is sweet and treats her like a queen. That's what we desire in our hearts. On the flip side we're attracted to a man that's strong and can take charge. A man that's exciting and a little unpredictable. So when that goody-good guy comes along who's really nice, but is lame and boring, we lose all interest and attract the bad boy. 
• Masculine vs. Feminine Energy. On one of my fave shows "The Millionaire Matchmaker" I was introduced to the concept of the how the energy that you possess can effect your relationships. All people give off either masculine or feminine energy. It doesn't matter what sex you are. You can still omit the energy of the opposite sex. Women naturally want a masculine energy male so they have a hard time dating a guy with feminine energy i.e. the nice guy. Are you masculine of feminine? Find out here.
• Fear, Trauma, Low self-esteem. So many women fear being alone. They will stay with anybody that will give them the time of day. Seeing women in your family be in bad relationships can teach women to do the same thing in their lives. The feeling that no one else will want you if you leave him is a top reason for staying in a relationship that is painful or abusive to you.

No matter what the reason is, no woman deserves to be in a relationship that is harmful to her. You deserve all the happiness and love that this world has to offer. Breaking up is hard to do, but if it's the best thing for you then you have to do the work necessary to make yourself happy. I promise you will not regret the decision to leave. 

That son of a BITCH! - What to do when you love the man, but HATE his mother.

LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING, BUT IT'S NOT AN EASY ONE.

I'm no stranger to getting my ass kicked by that thing called Love. I let you read the story of my journey to love and happiness, so you already know that. The trials & tribulations that we women go through in relationships seem endless. One of the biggest hurdles I had to get over in a relationship was dealing with my fiance's mother, who I absolutely hated! 

HOW TO LOVE THE MAN, BUT HATE HIS MOTHER

I loved my fiance' with every bone in my body and nothing was going to stop me from marrying him. So if you feel the same way as I did, here are a few tips to help you get along with you're man's mother. 

• Just like the title says: You love the MAN, not his mother. The good news is you don't have to love his mom to be in a happy relationship with him. You do have to at least get along and be cordial though. Don't get caught up into any drama with his mom. Even if she is outright rude to you, keep your cool. If you love your man, you have to let him handle his mother. You don't want to say something to her out of anger that will piss HIM off so bad that he breaks up with you. 
• Always treat his mother the way he wants you to treat her. He's her son. Who better to tell you how to get along with her? If your man says to kill his mom with kindness, do it. If he says ignore her, do that. Stand up to her if that's what he tells you to do. I'm sure with a little patience and persistence, you'll be well on your way to a peaceful relationship with your boyfriend's mother. 
• Use other family members as allies!  Your man isn't the only one who can help you get along with moms. Recruit whichever family member(s) you get along with best to be your ally. Ask them for advice on how to deal with the situation best. Maybe that person could talk to you boyfriend's mother for you and help to build a bridge between you two.

So, talk these tips over with your man tonight and get his input. I know he would have some great feedback for you. And I bet it would mean a lot to him that you're making an effort to get along with his mom for the sake of your relationship. 

Got advice? Click the little pencil in the box below and leave a comment!

Are you down with the swirl?

I have never dated outside my race before. I love a handsome, chocolate man! Being single for a couple years now has made me question what it is I am looking for in a man. I have had such bad luck with black men being lazy, users, and immature. ( I know all black men aren't like that!) I am starting to consider dating older men and even dating outside my race. I decided to do a litte research and I ran across this video.

What do you think? Have you ever dated outside your race? If not, would you?

Thin my be in, but fat is where it's at!

     I love being a black woman!  One of the things I love most is the fact that I'm thick, curvy, and sexy!  Black men can appreciate a woman with some meat on her bones.  Not saying other races don't. But nice round breasts, full hips and thighs, and a big butt are some black men's "make it or break it" requirements when determining physical beauty.
     The confidence that I have now wasn't easy to come by. I had to learn love for self.  I had to discover that my beauty or sex appeal wasn't defined by my weight. Nor was it defined by another's opinion.
     I was always chubby growing up. For as long as I can remember, people have commented on my "thick, pretty" legs. It wasn't until 5th grade that I was called fat for the first time.  It was the boy likes girl, girl doesn't like boy, so boy has to hurt girl situation. After I broke up with my lil' boyfriend. he started calling me names.  Since he was also the class bully the entire class followed suit.  After being tormented about my weight the rest of the school year, I was convinced that I was fat and ugly.
     During my middle school years, I tried to cover up by wearing baggy boy clothes.  The "tom boy" look helped me hide my insecurities.  I tried to come out of my shell in high school, but the guys were cruel! I've had dudes say some horrible things about me.  I still don't know what I did  to deserve that treatment.
     I was introverted and quiet when my senior year of high school came around. Then one day I had an epiphany!  I don't know where this burst of strength came from, but I said to myself "To me, I'm beautiful. Period." All of a sudden it all became clear to me.  "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." is one of the most direct and truthful statements.  Not only through the eyes of others, but through your own.
     So to all my ladies out there that got a little bit more around the waist, or got crooked teeth, or if you're a model that has insecurities within.  Look in the mirror and open your eyes wide.  That woman looking back at you is the most beautiful woman walking the earth! Self love is the best love!

Love & Happiness: The Ultimate Choice- Pt. 1

HAPPINESS....

If the best things in life are free, why can some of those things be so hard to attain? Stuff like confidence, peace, love, and happiness.
I went through years of depression and low self-esteem. At the time, I felt that my experiences determined my emotions. My alcoholic father was the blame for my horrible relationships with men. I was too shy to have a lot of friends. I was too fat to be pretty. Other people made me determine my worth. Before I knew what happened, I had become a prisoner of my own mind. My family and friends had been pushed away, my job was gone, and I spent most of my time in my room crying.
The question I asked most was "why me?" Why am I the only one out of everybody I kick it with that can't be happy and have a good time? I was fed up with being depressed all the time. The time had come for a new attitude!
I had no idea how I was going to conquer my depression, I just knew that I had to. I got advice from my friends and family on what they thought would help me. Most of it was general words of encouragement that was nice but not all that helpful. Two of my closest friends finally gave me the inspiration for change that I needed.
The first girl was one that I wanted to be more like. She always seemed to be on top of her game. She always had a job, kept money, nice car, home, and beautiful kids. When she did have down times, she always bounced back quickly, unfazed, and better off than she was. She was outspoken, strong, independent, and confident. Everything I wasn't.
One day I called her and told her about the changes that I was going through. When she started to give me her "two cents", I cut her off and told her that she couldn't really understand what I was going through because she already had what I was trying to get. To my surprise, this offended her.
She told me that she had her own battles to fight in her life and she knew exactly what struggle and pain felt like. People on the outside looking in at her don't know what it took for her to get where she is. She felt like it was unfair for people to judge her based on who they think she is or what they think she got.
I asked what was wrong with people looking at you and seeing a woman with no worries? She said because people try to use you when they think you have a lot. She said that she only let's people see the good her. She could never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her miserable. Why? Because misery loves company, of course! People feed off of that and they will try to keep you down so that they can feel better. She finished by telling me that we're all blessed and that I should count all of my blessings.
My other friend was one that I envied because of her survival skills. Growing up she endured a drug addict mother. She went from being shy and fat to slim and popular. She also suffered two family tragedies. The last time we spoke she was homeless, unemployed, and pregnant.
This time when we spoke she had a nice place, a good job, and a beautiful daughter. I visited her and over drinks we caught up on what we'd been up to. I praised her on how she managed to always keep it together through all her troubles. She told me that her secret to staying happy was her great ability to pretend. Sure she always seemed okay, but underneath it all, she was a mess sometimes.
She went on to tell me about her failed relationship with her babydaddy and her emotional struggles with motherhood. The only way she knows how to stay sane is to live all her bad days pretending to be happy.
Here were two women with their own problems who somehow managed to live happily. All this time I'd thought in order to be happy your life had to be perfect. There were no bad days. They showed me that happiness was not determined by your circumstances. Happiness is not hard to attain. Being happy is something you choose to be, no matter what's going on in your life. No matter what anybody else thinks.
I looked at my situation and started to list everything that I was grateful for. To my surprise, I had a pretty long list! At that moment I decided to choose happiness. Every time I find myself losing my happiness, I pull out my list and remind myself of the decision I've made. To stay happy no matter what!