Urban Author Gets $200k Bentley From Rapper Boo

The folks over at Bossip didn't have anything nice to say about Jasmine D. Thomas. She's the author of the urban fiction romance When A Diva's Fed Up and girlfriend to rapper, Meek Mill.
Jasmine made her rounds on the gossip blogs after she tweeted pics of a Bentley that Meek bought her. She had the car on the lawn of what looked like the projects and was just being real extra in some of the pics. Note: These pics are from March. I have no idea what the deal is between Jasmine and Meek but I'm gonna assume they're still together. Here are a few pics. For more check out the SOURCE.  Do you think she was way too ghetto? Or is she just the proud owner of a new Bentley?

My Funeral: The Rise of an Empress

On December 3rd I decided to start a Self Love journey. I got this idea from a YouTube channel I came across by Montana Deleon. A former Worldstar "booty model" turned inspirational speaker.
I know what you're thinking but before you judge hear me out.
I am a true believer in metaphysical science. That means that I believe in the power of one's own spirit and mind to create the person you want to be. After watching her videos I see that Montana is doing the work that the metaphysical is all about and has made a beautiful change in her life. She started her own Self Love journey and documented it on her YouTube channel and it's really fascinating and inspirational.
In one of her videos she talked about starting the Self Love Journey by having a funeral for your old self and beginning the day anew. So this is my funeral. Hence, the head stone. It reads "Death of a Warrior. Rise of an Empress." Because I was always fighting my demons. I got so caught up with being a victim and holding on to hurt that I became identified by being broken. No more of that. I will build an empire as an author/entrepreneur. I'm rising from the ashes like a beautiful phoenix.
I will be keeping you guys up to date with  a series of Self Love journey posts and videos. Say a prayer for me...
Check out Montana's YouTube Channel Here.

Wonder Bitch Has Left The Building

This is a repost from Tionna Smalls' blog about being in a relationship with a broken man. After reading this I realize that my last relationship was with a broken man. I thought I could be Wonder Bitch and save the day making him fall in love with me the way I was with him but I was wrong. Thanks, Tionna, for showing me the way.

Dear Diary,
I know I have been gone for a minute but I was writing my first ever screen play. Yes, you read it right; I am writing and directing a movie in Brooklyn. Yep!
Anywho, I am back and today I would like to talk about broken men. Now what is a broken man? Well that’s a good question. A broken man is man who is emotionally unable to love and/or accept love into his life. He is a man who should have received a SSI check when he was younger because he just don’t have it all upstairs. A broken man is a self-sabotager who make sure he messes things up with any woman who shows him love especially if he feels himself falling too.
You can’t blame a man for being broken. Most of the times, you have to blame their sociological factors such as their nature and their nurture. Many broken men become that way from what they had to go through in their environment but MOST of them learn their shitty ways from the people that they were around most which is their mother.
Many women fall in love with broken men hoping that they can save them and show them a little love but they are truly mistaken. You can’t undo 25 years of fuckery!!! Nothing can help this man but prayer. A broken man must know and respect the fact that he is emotionally broken and that he may need help to overcome what has happened in his past.
Have you ever dealt with a man and no matter what you tried to do, he never seemed to show you the same love and respect back. Well, you may have dealt with a broken man. See, these broken men want to love and want to show love but they just don’t know how. No one has shown them how to properly care and feel empathy for someone else; all they know how to do is be messed up and care for themselves. Well at least they think they care for themselves. A broken man is very miserable and insecure and does not have a clue on how they can change their lives; so why are you trying to be Wonder Bitch, thinking you can change his life?????
No matter how much you may love someone, sometimes shit just doesn’t work out. Love is not enough; you have to leave a dude to keep a dude. Staying in a bad situation with a broken man is not going to help the situation, it is going to hurt the situation…Leave him and let him realize on his own that he need to get his shit together.

To read the rest of this post check it out on The Diary of Tionna Smalls

I'm naked. No More Sheets...

I am a single young lady and I love it!

On the other hand though, I do see marriage and family in my future. As my twenties come to an end, being single becomes more frustrating because my wants and needs are changing. As I go back and forth between wanting to be single and wanting to be married, I ask myself the question am I really ready for marriage right now? After watching this sermon by Juanita Bynum, I don't think so, but I know that I will be one day. This is a must see video for all my single ladies. You will look at relationships a little bit different afterwards. I promise!

The History of Valentine's Day

I screwed my best friend's boyfriend!

The Sweet Taste of Forbidden Fruit
Fighting and giving in to temptation goes all the way back to the ancient time of Adam and Eve. We all know the story of how humanity was punished because those two ate from the tree of knowledge. There are some things, no matter how tempting, you're never supposed to indulge in. One of those things is sleeping with the mate of a close friend or family member. The reality is that we're human and we have weak moments. So giving in to temptations like this happen all the time.

The Story of My Temptation
Yes. I'm guilty of sleeping with a friend's boyfriend... Twice. Horrible, I know! I slept with a guy who was with two of my friends. (He was a pass-around, though. *Kanye shrug*) I also slept with a childhood friend who, coincidentally, is now the current boyfriend of a friend of mine. In my defense, I was a teenager when this happened. Young, dumb, and full of cum. For those of you that are facing the temptation of your girl's fine ass new boo, read along and think really hard before you give in to temptation...

What's Done in The Dark Always Comes to Light
Once I grew up and looked back on the wild stuff I did, I was very embarrassed about what I'd done. I put the experiences in the back of my mind and tried to act like it never happened. I never told anyone about it and I denied it if any word about me spread. After a while, I couldn't deny it anymore. The truth came out and there was nothing I could do. I am still friends with two of the girls but the other one is not my friend at all anymore. In the end the embarrassment that I feel and the lost friendships was not worth it. Take a real hard look at your friendship. If you don't mind losing it then, by all means, sleep with her man and be happy. I'm pretty sure that you won't though.

Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size
If you consider yourself a grown woman, you need to act like one. Sleeping with another woman's man is dirty and immature. And don't forget that karma's a bitch. 

If you wanna get rid of me, Love me right.

When I saw this tweet from Erykah Badu, I immediately retweeted it. She says it may be 'a bit advanced' but I caught the meaning of it right away. Nice guys finish last. The men that treat us the worst are the ones we have the hardest time letting go of.

Why do we put ourselves through the pain of being with a no good man?
There are countless answers to this question because each woman has her own reasons for staying with her man. It could be because of the kids or because he pays the bills. The main reasons, however, go much deeper than these surface answers.

• What you desire in your heart has nothing to do with what you're attracted to. Women want a man that is sweet and treats her like a queen. That's what we desire in our hearts. On the flip side we're attracted to a man that's strong and can take charge. A man that's exciting and a little unpredictable. So when that goody-good guy comes along who's really nice, but is lame and boring, we lose all interest and attract the bad boy. 
• Masculine vs. Feminine Energy. On one of my fave shows "The Millionaire Matchmaker" I was introduced to the concept of the how the energy that you possess can effect your relationships. All people give off either masculine or feminine energy. It doesn't matter what sex you are. You can still omit the energy of the opposite sex. Women naturally want a masculine energy male so they have a hard time dating a guy with feminine energy i.e. the nice guy. Are you masculine of feminine? Find out here.
• Fear, Trauma, Low self-esteem. So many women fear being alone. They will stay with anybody that will give them the time of day. Seeing women in your family be in bad relationships can teach women to do the same thing in their lives. The feeling that no one else will want you if you leave him is a top reason for staying in a relationship that is painful or abusive to you.

No matter what the reason is, no woman deserves to be in a relationship that is harmful to her. You deserve all the happiness and love that this world has to offer. Breaking up is hard to do, but if it's the best thing for you then you have to do the work necessary to make yourself happy. I promise you will not regret the decision to leave. 

The 5 Biggest Lies Men Tell About Black Women

"Tell the truth and shame the devil."

We've all heard our Granny or other older relative say this to us a million times. So why is it that every time I turn around I hear some crazy gossip about me that's completely false? You would think that the rumors would be started by jealous girls, but most of the lies are those told on me by men! I know that as you read this you are running down the list of lies your bitter ex-boyfriend has told about you.. Why they do this, I don't know. But just in case you find yourself hearing some gossip from a guy about one of your homegirls, if he says any of the following things, chances are he's lying!

1. She's a hoe!: What this dude is really trying to say is "She messed around with that other guy, but won't talk to me. Now I'm mad!" Men are always in competition with each other. So when you're the reason he loses the 'Ladies' Man' contest, he will resent you and try his best to make you look bad when you simply weren't interested in him. 
2. That ain't my baby!: Where would Maury Povich be without this lie?! Unless he has taken a DNA test to prove that he isn't the father of the baby in question then the possibility of it being his is very high. The responsibility may be too much for him, he might hate the idea of being connected to the child's mother forever, or he could be plain ol' unsure. Whatever the reason, he'll spit this lie out quick when need be.
3. Black women are Gold Diggers: This couldn't be farther from the truth. Most Black women are single mothers taking care of themselves and their children on their own with no help from anybody. Those that aren't single mothers still have to work and contribute to their household. All we want is a man that is willing to do his part and pay his share. Anything else is a bonus. 
4. We all have bad attitudes: We as Black women do have a certain way we carry ourselves. We are more of a no nonsense type of woman than other races, but history shows that we've had it hard and we have to stand up for ourselves to be successful in this life. However, we're still women and we have a softness to us that only women can have. Our attitude only comes up when we need it, just like any other person. 
5. Every Black woman comes from the ghetto: There are just as many Black people in general that live in rural communities as whites and other races. In my age group there are plenty that were born and raised in the suburbs. Ghetto is more of a mentality or lifestyle than where you live or were raised. Assuming that all Black people grew up in the projects is just ignorant. 

Before you open your mind to believe rumors and your mouth to spread them make sure you check the facts. Always have your own brain and opinions to go off of before you judge people. Black women are the most beautiful and strong women in the world and I am proud to be one of them!

That son of a BITCH! - What to do when you love the man, but HATE his mother.

LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING, BUT IT'S NOT AN EASY ONE.

I'm no stranger to getting my ass kicked by that thing called Love. I let you read the story of my journey to love and happiness, so you already know that. The trials & tribulations that we women go through in relationships seem endless. One of the biggest hurdles I had to get over in a relationship was dealing with my fiance's mother, who I absolutely hated! 

HOW TO LOVE THE MAN, BUT HATE HIS MOTHER

I loved my fiance' with every bone in my body and nothing was going to stop me from marrying him. So if you feel the same way as I did, here are a few tips to help you get along with you're man's mother. 

• Just like the title says: You love the MAN, not his mother. The good news is you don't have to love his mom to be in a happy relationship with him. You do have to at least get along and be cordial though. Don't get caught up into any drama with his mom. Even if she is outright rude to you, keep your cool. If you love your man, you have to let him handle his mother. You don't want to say something to her out of anger that will piss HIM off so bad that he breaks up with you. 
• Always treat his mother the way he wants you to treat her. He's her son. Who better to tell you how to get along with her? If your man says to kill his mom with kindness, do it. If he says ignore her, do that. Stand up to her if that's what he tells you to do. I'm sure with a little patience and persistence, you'll be well on your way to a peaceful relationship with your boyfriend's mother. 
• Use other family members as allies!  Your man isn't the only one who can help you get along with moms. Recruit whichever family member(s) you get along with best to be your ally. Ask them for advice on how to deal with the situation best. Maybe that person could talk to you boyfriend's mother for you and help to build a bridge between you two.

So, talk these tips over with your man tonight and get his input. I know he would have some great feedback for you. And I bet it would mean a lot to him that you're making an effort to get along with his mom for the sake of your relationship. 

Got advice? Click the little pencil in the box below and leave a comment!

Wanna get a man? Quit going to church.

I've been hearing a lot about a CNN report that was aired saying that the Black church keeps Black women single. When I first saw a link about it on Mediatakeout.com, I ignored it. Mainly because MTO can put some B.S. up sometimes. What made me pay attention to it was when I heard the topic being discussed on the Ricky Smiley morning show on Z1079. I didn't even think it was true that the study was done before then.I think the whole thing is ridiculous. Here's why...

• Just like so many other Black people, I grew up in the church. I know all about the Ten Commandments, Jesus' miracles, and countless other parables and scriptures. Pre-marital sex is a no-no and you HAVE to get married if you want to live  life as a woman. According to the church, either you get married or you stay celibate. That didn't sit well with me, so when I turned 18 I did my own thing. I wanted to be able to go on dates, wear makeup, and kiss. (Among other things...) I went against what the church said was right as far as how to date. Had I followed the rules I still would have dated, but we all know being a teenager is all about having fun. Dating the church way was not fun, but it wasn't non-existent. 
• The church is an isolated situation, in my opinion. The church community is small in reference to the rest of the world. There are so many different denominations and beliefs that you can't group all Black churches into one and say that the church, as a whole, is what is keeping Black women single. Trust me because I'm out here in it. I know there are a million other factors that go into being single. Good and bad from both men and women so blaming the church is crazy to me. 
•  The man that the church says is the perfect man to be with can be somewhat unrealistic. Some churches will shun what "worldly" people would say is a good man. He can have a good job, no felonies, a college degree, and his own very successful business; But if he doesn't attend both services on Sunday, bible study on Wednesday, and can't quote scripture then he's not worthy of that Christian woman. So some very good men get passed up. 

I can understand why the report would think that the church is keeping women single because of the strict rules when it comes to sex, dating, and marriage. Christian women make the choice to stay single because of their religion. There are also women that get saved during their relationship without their man and if he doesn't find God with her she will leave him behind.
Did anyone doing this study stop and consider the fact that a woman can CHOOSE to be single for her career or financial goals? Furthermore, did they do this study on any other nationality?

What do you think? Is the Black church the reason Black women are single? How important is religion to a relationship? Go to the comment box below and sound off!

Are you down with the swirl?

I have never dated outside my race before. I love a handsome, chocolate man! Being single for a couple years now has made me question what it is I am looking for in a man. I have had such bad luck with black men being lazy, users, and immature. ( I know all black men aren't like that!) I am starting to consider dating older men and even dating outside my race. I decided to do a litte research and I ran across this video.

What do you think? Have you ever dated outside your race? If not, would you?

Love & Happiness: The Ultimate Choice- Pt. 2

LOVE...

I've been single for two years now. The last relationship that I was in really taught me a lot. The most important thing I learned was that I was not ready for love and a serious commitment.
From the time I was small, I've been obsessed with marriage and motherhood. I just knew that by the time I was this age (25) that I would be a wife and mother! I came from a relatively big family and that's what our women do. By 21, you're a mother living life in the real world. So as soon as I got my first boyfriend at 15, I jumped all in. Losing my virginity and being completely committed to him.
I wanted so badly to have a child, but that didn't work out. That depressed me because I felt as though that I was being denied the Ultimate Love: that from a child to its mother. I mean, crackheads have six and seven kids! All I wanted was one. So I started on my quest to find the ultimate love.

Step One: Find a guy and fall in love.

I bounced around from guy to guy for a couple years. So naive. I wore my heart on my sleeve and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. I figured everybody wanted love. Why deny me? They never did love me. They loved what I could do for them...sexually. With each rejection came more devastation, deeper depression, lower self-esteem, and a stronger sense of desperation. At 18, I met and fell in love with my ex-fiance, we'll call him Owner. When we met I was a mess! I had dropped out of my senior year of high school, my father relapsed after years of sobriety, and after trying with a few guys I still hadn't become pregnant. I felt like there was something poisoning about me. Owner was the first guy to notice that I constantly kept my head down and carried myself with an overbearing sadness. He built up my confidence. He looked out or my health and my sanity. He also wanted a family just as bad as I did. He was my knight in shining armor! Step One, check!

Step Two: Build a relationship

Owner and I couldn't get enough of each other! We spent damn near everyday together. We jumped all into our relationship head first. He was 21 and deep in the streets. After about three months our relationship had become less of a priority to him so we naturally just stopped talking. Step Two not reached, gotta start over.

At this point I gave up on love. I figured if I can't have love and motherhood then scratch the love. I'll just get pregnant by somebody and embrace being a single mother. I started to cover up my pain with drugs and alcohol. I lived the life of a hot girl! Doin' my do! I tried to never be at home, never be sober, and never get emotionally attached to anybody. It was easier that way. Less disappointments.

For years it was a vicious cycle.

At 21, Owner and I tried it again. It was better. He was more mature and he whipped me into shape once again. We got engaged and started to plan a life together. When the smoke cleared and the liquor dried out I realized that I never had an opportunity to work on myself and be the woman he needed me to be. I still had too many unresolved issues. I had no sense of self. We battled constantly because I yearned for self growth and independence. He wanted a dedicated housewife. I rebelled and it ended our relationship.

I worked and I prayed and I found myself and independence. I've accepted the fact that a baby will come when the time is right. I was cured...I thought.

It wasn't until I met "Poetry Boy" that I realized that I still have work to do. This guy is amazing! We have so much in common, he's so talented, and so sincere. Slowly my insecurities started to creep up on me! I'd convinced myself that this guy only wanted to use me, that he had hundreds of chicks on his team, and that I wasn't good enough for him. I tried to abandon ship on our friendship instead of being honest with him. He called me on my bullshit! We talked it out and thankfully we're still friends.

Even though neither of us are looking for a romance it's cool to know that there is hope for me finding a good man that is right for me.

I love me and now that's the ultimate love for me.